How To Talks So Kids Will Listen... (by Faber & Mazlish)

Faber, Adele, and Elaine Mazlish.  How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

If you have kids, teach kids, or deal with them on a regular basis, this book has practical application for you.

I wish I'd had this when my kids were young and even when teaching seniors.  Down to earth advice, skills, and techniques for opening communication and improving behavior (on the part of both adult and child).

Highly recommended.

Nonfiction.  Parenting/Communication.  1999.  304 pages.

The Vigorous Mind by Ingrid E. Cummings

Cummings, Ingrid E. The Vigorous Mind: Cross-Train Your Brain to Break Through Mental, Emotional, and Professional Boundaries.

I accepted the opportunity to read this book when it was offered by Lisa for the TLC Book Tour. The chance to "break through boundaries" sounded great, and I knew I wanted a vigorous mind. Especially after looking back over my last year's reading--an overabundance of fiction (much of it poor fiction) and a dearth of good nonfiction.

When The Vigorous Mind really came through and provided motivation to improve the quality of my reading (and much more), I was delighted! Yes, I know that I've hinted about it on several posts; I simply couldn't resist. It has been difficult to wait until my appointed date to review the book, and I've been busy applying the philosophy to my own life and reading.

Cummings begins by saying that our society has come to value the specialist over the generalist; she protests this dichotomy throughout the book. She advocates cross-training the brain, developing diverse interests, "curiosities, and enthusiasms," and maintains that individuals who have done so are best able to fight the blahs and even career burnout.

I find it hard to debate that outlook. Cummings, moreover, wants to show us how to become more well-rounded. She encourages looking beyond career and finding activities "that have no apparent connection to your professional specialty." New experiences encourage neuroplasticity, changes in the brain, and these changes can bring surprising advantages to your approach to your profession.

Who wouldn't want to engage in activities that not only broaden their horizons and make them more satisfied human beings, but might also aid them in their career paths?

So how do you accomplish such a thing, a vigorous mind, a Renaissance Mind? Cummings has two techniques that will help us reach our goals:

• "Triumph in Twenty" - devoting 20 or fewer minutes a day to your activity of choice, several times a week (knitting, photography, learning to play an instrument, tennis, palm reading, growing orchids, etc.)
• Kaizen - "consistent, incremental baby steps" - cutting goals down to size and consistently moving toward them one step at a time.

With the third chapter, things began to snowball. The book is immensely readable, full of inspiring anecdotes concerning not just the Renaissance Men of the past, but our contemporaries, an odd assortment including businessmen, employees, scientists, comedians, academics, and actors. Among the group: Richard Feynman (yes, this is why I read Surely, You're Joking Mr. Feynman), Ben Stein, Steve Martin, John Malkovich....

I've taken the author's advice and have composed a curriculum for myself and several beginning courses that I'm in the midst of undertaking. Specific to my interests and subject to change if I so decide. I'm having a ball doing it. I've composed a lift-list of things I'd like to learn or learn about, have made additions to my fitness activities, and have made some personal commitments to myself.

My first and foremost goal at the moment is to increase my reading of nonfiction and to read outside my comfort zone. I'm supplementing books with new magazine subscriptions to The Smithsonian and Mental Floss, among others, and I'm watching documentaries from Netflix on a variety of subjects.

Book Overview:

Part One (chapters 1-3) gives some of the reasons that Cummings came to write the book.

Part Two (chapters 4-10) gives the seven imperatives, "global attributes," you might want to cultivate. They include curiosity, individuality, selectivity, empathy, stretch, spirituality, and courage. (I particularly enjoyed these chapters.)
Part Three (chapters 11-13) examines choice and provides insight into way we actually live our lives.

The Vigorous Mind - Ingrid E. Cummings
I'm almost embarrassed by how much I'm enjoying myself! I do need to be aware of what Cummings calls The Law of Unintended Consequences. This weekend I kept talking about the books I'm reading, and not even my family can endure that indefinitely.

Nonfiction. 2009. 316 pages.

The Mindful Woman

Thoelle, Sue Patton. The Mindful Woman: Gentle Practices for Restoring Calm, Finding Balance , & Opening Your Heart.

I've enjoyed this book for the past 6 months. Mindfulness is a particularly difficult concept for me to incorporate, but Sue Patton Thoelle makes it easier by giving simple practices to guide the reader to a relaxed, purposeful, and creative approach, choosing mindfulness over "automatic living."

Even with these simple practices that focus on breathing and intention, Thoelle is aware of the elusiveness of mindfulness: "...how incredibly easy it is for me to be seduced away from simplicity and focused awareness into multi-multitasking and rampant mind-mucking."

Part One discuss the basics, the elements of mindfulness, the differences between mindfulness and automatic living, and the benefits of mindfulness. Part Two contains the practices, and Part Three is about enjoying the benefits.

Originally, I intended to read a practice a day, but obviously, I didn't keep up with that too well, and the book would be buried for weeks at a time before I would find it again. My intention now is to go through it again, reading and considering each practice again, and not expect it to happen each day.

The book reminds me of the Upper Room Devotionals--a time to rest and remove oneself briefly from the mundane and focus on the spiritual.

Nonfiction. Instructional/Spiritual. 2008. 219 pages.

In Progress

Sir Francis Bacon: Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.

I've finished a couple more books that need to be reviewed and am currently reading The Mindful Woman by Sue Patton Thoele. I'm reading this one slowly as it is not the kind of book to read whole. I think of Bacon often as I'm reading (not just this book) because so many of the books I read are simply swallowed for entertainment but others, especially nonfiction, require a slower and more thoughtful approach.

I'm about half way through this one and am enjoying it and trying to take the time for the exercises. Thoele places great emphasis on breath and begins many of the exercises with the idea of paying attention to breath. This is a concept with which I entirely agree after nearly 8 years of tai chi & qiqong and a mere 6 weeks in yoga.

Being conscious of your breathing, taking the time to draw deep breaths into your belly, using your breath to calm and center yourself are huge elements in tai chi & qiqong; after tai chi classes I was always so relaxed and so alert ( wonderful combination) as a result of conscious breathing. I'm finding a similar effect in yoga.

When Thoele talks about taking cleansing breaths before beginning her exercises, she is preparing the ground by encouraging the awareness of breath and its calming effects.

This book is tailored to women, but is simply a good guide for finding balance and a sense of calm for anyone who is interested. And mindfulness is something I very much want for myself. On my other blog, I've mentioned my desire for mindfulness several times, so when this book was offered, it seemed like perfect timing--that wonderful sychronicity that life frequently offers.

"Sue Patton Thoele is a psychotherapist, former hospice chaplain, and bereavement group leader. She is author of eleven other books, including The Courage To Be Yourself, The Woman's Book of Soul, Growing Hope, Freedoms After 50, and The Woman's Book of Courage." Her website is http://suepattonthoele.com

I'm not sure when I'll finish, but even after finishing, I intend to go over these daily practices. They fit nicely into some of the lessons from Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be by Lama Surya Das.

Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be

Das, Lama Surya. Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be: Lessons on Change, Loss, and Spiritual Transformation. While there isn't much really new here (after all, wisdom has a long tradition), I need to be frequently reminded. Whether approached as religion, philosophy, or ethical action, some truths just need to be reinforced.

The idea behind this book is transformation, and one of the most interesting transformations in this book is the transformation of an American-born Jewish boy greatly attached to his baseball mitt into a Lama and teacher of Buddhist principles.

In letting go of our attachments, Das notes that we are attached to more than things.

We are attached to "...our opinions and theories. We become attached to the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we think. We become inordinately attached to our status, accomplishments, and reputations--and what we think they say about us. We become attached to our biases, and habitual way of doing things. We become attached to religion and political preference; we even become attached to our fears and anxieties." And, "Often we cling to habits that aren't even comforting or satisfying simply because we are unable to let go or explore new ways to do things."

I loved this quote from T. S. Eliot: " For us there is only the trying. The rest is not our business."

It is important to do the best we can, but we have no control of the outcome and should not become attached to it. This coincides (for me) with much of existential thinking (whether religious as Dostoevsky's version or agnostic/atheistic as Camus' version) -- what is important is that we live with integrity and do our best.

My favorite section is the last section about mindfulness, a quality that I need to increase in my life, and Das gives a six week practice to increase our mindful awareness, sense of peace and serenity, and aliveness. I've been working on sound for nearly a week. So many background noises that we tune out...


Nonfiction. Philosophy/spiritual. 2003. 210 pages.

Your Handwriting Can Change Your Life

Rodgers, Vimala. Your Handwriting Can Change Your Life. I've read through this twice already, but suppose it will be read again and again. I'm not going to write an actual review; instead, I copied a post that I made on Bayou Quilts about the book and how I came to order it and begin practicing my handwriting.

cross-posted from my other blog:

Yesterday, I mentioned that I was working on my handwriting using the Vimala Rodgers' book
Your Handwriting Can Change Your Life and decided to expand on a bit on that subject.

How did I get here...attempting to change the handwriting that has served me for Lo, These Many Years?

Amelia and Erin (who have young children) have both been curious at different times about Montessori education. I'd also heard about Waldorf Schools, though I knew less about them. Research into the Waldorf system led to Vimala Rodgers, who has worked with school systems across the country and whose handwriting style has been incorporated into many Waldorf schools.

(slight digression, this excellent article compares the two methods, giving a better insight into both Waldorf and Montessori...and, uh, I had to increase the text size on the article)

That is the most recent interest in handwriting, but about 10 years ago, I met a friend of my best friend's family. The woman was a trained graphologist and worked with insurance companies and the occasionally the police, making determinations about individuals based on handwriting. Fascinating stuff.

I was hooked and went to the library, checked out several books on handwriting analysis, and found one I really liked, Handwriting Analysis: Putting It to Work for You by Andrea McNichol, an excellent presentation of material with tons of examples, some from famous people. I didn't want to return it to the library and renewed it a couple of times, but eventually I gave in and bought a copy. Handwriting analysis is truly an intriguing, surprising, and fascinating subject.

This past spring, my sister-in-law attended a workshop that dealt in part with the importance of handwriting and a bit about analysis. We often discuss developments in education, and she attends some great workshops (she is an adaptive P.E. teacher who works mostly with children with serious physical problems). Anyway, I ordered a copy of McNichol's book for her because I couldn't find mine...which is here somewhere...unless I loaned it to someone. Another search for the book is in order, and if I can't find it, I'm ordering another one.

So my interest in handwriting , graphology, and graphotherapy is not new. Rodgers' book, however, concentrates on teaching the Vimala Alphabet, which is very different from the old Palmer Style. The Vimala Alphabet has simplified letter formation and is sometimes called print-script, as many letters are formed without the connection to the next letter.

I am continue to practice, and I hope to be able to read my own journal entries at some point, instead of wondering what the heck this or that word is. The practice itself is - for me - a very calming activity. Now that I think about it, it is very similar to the feeling of hand quilting, knitting, or crocheting. If my improved handwriting results in an improved quality of life, that is a bonus that I'm more than willing to accept.

Nonfiction. Instructional. 2000. 167 pages.