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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

National Poetry Month w/amended instructions :)

In honor of National Poetry Month:

The first one to give the title and author of the poem parodied below will receive a copy of either Candide or Eragon. Each book has been read once; excellent condition. :)

If you are interested, leave a comment below (but don't include the answer) and then go to my profile page and send me an email with the title and author of the original poem. If there are several correct answers, I'll do a drawing next Tuesday and announce the winner.

Here is the parody:

E.V. Milner

Today we have Baking of Tarts. Yesterday
We had Simple Salads. And a fortnight tomorrow
We shall have How to Garnish Cod cutlets. But today
Today we have Baking of Tarts. The viewers
Ogle their screens in a flurry of breathless excitement,
For today we have Baking of Tarts.

This is the plastic mixing bowl. And this
Is the rolling-pin and the board, whose use you will see
In a moment. And this is the transparent oven
Which in your case you have not got. The speaker
Warms to her theme with ardent, unflagging exuberance,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the strawberry jam which is neatly extracted
With a gentle thrust of the spoon. And please do not let me
See anyone licking his fingers. It is perfectly easy
If you have any jam in your pot. The viewers
Are silent and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them licking their fingers.

And this you can see is the lard. The purpose of this
Is to prevent the pastry from sticking. We can smear it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Greasing the tin. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The viewers are fumbling for biscuits and spilling their coffee:
They call it ruining the carpet.

They call it ruining the carpet. It is perfectly easy
If your mind is attempting to cope with the cookery expert
While your hands are engaged in juggling with saucers and plates
And trying meanwhile to secure a reasonable share
Of the cheese straws, which in our case we have not got:
For today we have Baking of Tarts.


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  3. :) Well, that didn't work very well! I should practice my intruction giving.

    It does tickle me that two people knew it right away!

    Hopefully, no one else saw your answers, and I'll give it a while longer to see if anyone else recognizes it. Too funny! I really thought it would take a little longer.

  4. Nope! You were the first one with the correct answer, anyway.

    I'm going to end it and send you and Susan each a book!

  5. Oh goodness, I have no clue Jenclair, but I so wanted to thank you for reminding me of National Poetry Month...I have always wanted to read Leonard Cohen's "Book of Longing" and this (poetry month) might be an excellent opportunity to do so!

  6. I have no clue either but I want some tarts now! :)

  7. Lotus - Leonard Cohen's lyrics are poetry, too. He's a Canadian poet to be proud of!

    iliana - :) Made you hungry, huh?

  8. Well, I could cheat and just google a phrase to find out, but when will you publish the answer, JenClair? I know I've encountered the poem elsewhere; I just haven't a clue of the poet's identity.